I think you only dream about things when they are missing. It explains why I have endless dreams about school during the holidays.
Dreams change me. They change my perspective. I wake up feeling like a different person.
It's only temporary, though. It's not long after seeing people around that I remember that they are only dreams. Things are different in the real world. It isn't my world.
This world is hot and dry and terrible, although it's alright when I'm at home. I dislike not wearing my jumper because it doesn't feel right. I've been through that.
This afternoon on the bus, while trying to nap and being thoroughly annoyed by the shaking of keys next to my ears which i don't know was it meant to be a joke?, I heard someone exclaim "happiness!". And I thought to myself "that's a strange thing to shout on a bus", and then I heard someone else exclaim "happiness!!" even louder.
and I thought to myself "maybe the juniors are actually pretty mature for their time, and I'm really surprised at how positive they are in creating such a optimistic game. maybe I could learn from them"
and then I realised that they weren't shouting "happiness".
freaking juniors. and freaking year 10's (the grade below us). they're everywhere and loud.
The jacaranda's are starting to bloom everywhere. It's blissful. You can't really see the flowers close up, but from a distance you can see the purple-y canopy. If you didn't know, jacaranda's are my favourite flower, tree, and flowering tree.
Some time ago, I also developed a bit of appreciation for pine trees (I think that's what they are, at least). I like the way they seem so multifaceted. The way they reflect different shades of green depending on the amount of sunlight hitting the leaves. The colours kind of blend in and make the tree look like a two dimensional mess of greens, but look beyond 3D at the same time. Like 5D. Yeah.
I'm still not sure whether they are pine trees or not.
And then I came home and saw all of the roses. which had begun to bloom over a month ago, and didn't think much of them.
Yesterday I noticed that someone had thrown out the cat food. I don't know.
I wonder what it would be like if I had a happy wagon of my own. How many pebbles would I be on?
After being late out of maths, I had to walk past people who were flocking to B block. It's hard to explain, but it kind of gave me a little bit of faith for this world. That there are things which can bring so many different kinds of people together like that. Sure, it's bad when there are clashes because of these groups, but it's better than not having any groups in the first place.
I think it would be great if every human could be in a group like that. Like, one group. Not by belief, location, culture, or entertainment, but simply by being human. Some people have compassion like that. Maybe because they don't know any better. Or maybe because they do know better, but still choose their path. Either of those are good.
But I don't think this is going to happen. Not until an extra-terrestrial race is discovered. Fear is one thing that brings people together, I guess. And imagine if we could trust them, and exist in harmony.
It isn't going to happen, of course.
But still.
Today I heard that Gaddafi had been killed. He was hiding in a concrete sewer, but the found him. That's what I heard, at least. I don't really want to follow it up.
I heard a 3rd-hand recount that he invaded the 1964 olypmics and killed 6 people. And I already know that he's done really terrible things and he's just generally and asshole. And while trying to google his name, I read an article with part of the title "
Gaddafi's girl executioner: Nisreen"
which you don't really need to read unless you really want to, it's just about the terrible things that happened when you're a girl who was forced to become a recruit for the regime.
And that article was also really ... sad.
he kind of screwed up everything, but I don't know if this makes me glad. It doesn't. It makes me glad for some people who have been given justice, and that the war can be over, and the bad things can stop.
I still have to wonder why, though. Why did he go around and destroy everything? Why ruin the lives of countless? Was there a reason?
Is that what he asked himself, when hiding, and hearing the people looking for him, and knowing he was about to die?
what was he thinking?
I still feel bad for him. I don't think capital punishment is the right thing to do.
But sometimes, I think it's necessary. Lifetime in prison is stupid. Unless you hate someone so much that you would condemn them to spend the rest of their life knowing that they would spend the rest of their life in prison. Death is just safer, and better for everyone.
5 comments:
I agree with your entire post except for the stuff about juniors because seniors are often equally loud
The stuff about dreams is interesting. I think you may be right.
And I don't like capital punishment either, but there's no way to magically redeem someone so they don't go around hurting other people short of life imprisonment. And the conditions in the low-quality cells are really quite bad.
I often like to think that all people are good. Maybe one day I'll discover exactly how wrong I am.
I think that everyone is innately bad.
And that's actually a really comforting thing.
"Revolutions have never lightened the burden of tyranny: they have only shifted it to another shoulder."
George Bernard Shaw
And the arab spring will be no different.
religions will fall when aliens arrive. God created man in his image and then we are left, naked, in a sense, at being shown our ignorance and insistence perhaps to a point of obstinacy. it'll be like what lennon wanted, but currently an unfeasible utopia nonetheless.
you personally, Kael, might be willing to accept others faiths, you might be personally willing to share (though that might be pushing it depending on what you share, case and point: your SC2 strats and whatnot) but sharing one's humanity to the greater collective for the ultimate good still sounds very off-putting for 99.99% of everyone.
fear unites humans, i agree. my enemy's enemy is my friend, as they say. its like the end of Watchmen, where one of the heroes (dr. manhattan) allows his betraying friend (Ozymandias) to destroy New York, London, LA and a few other cities so that the first guy gets the blame, leaves Earth with the whole planet united in hating him.
I also realised that socialism doesn't work is because it provides a wrong answer to a problem. all this time, we've all been focusing on the solutions. maybe what we really need to do is to not change the solution to the problem but make a solution which allows for the problem to change, evolve allowing for an ideal solution.
pine trees are full of fractals. see Mandelbrot sets, apparently our whole world are made from fractals, re-repeating subunits of hierarchical structure. I guess God was lazy, or perhaps it is our primitive way of interpreting things (pigeon-holing data)
but this is a mildly confused posthumanist apologetic speaking.
Hap-Piness...
Well.
Ah, well. That's just how they are >_>
I sometimes imagine what it would be like to have a quiet bus ride. That would be nice.
Sadly, the only time that's happened was with a very precious person to me. Still, it was quite nice, cause of all the cuddling and whatnot.
sorry about the keys. that was just sean proving a point about people not reacting when you loudly shake keys near their ears. except you actually did react.
the happy wagon is basically the only thing i remember from stargirl. it was a nice idea.
also read smiles to go. i liked the proton death/decay thing. although i didn't think the ending was that great.
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