Aurora

Something I forgot to mention about yesterday's "i haven't changed since year 9", I'm posting so much, so much of the time now. Back to the old more days than not.

But what I forgot to add was: When we realise how much we haven't changed (unless i'm just different), we also should remember that our mentors and leader's are just like us. They aren't wholely different people. They're just us in the future.


I heard a really good advertisement for a dishwasher, and I really want to buy a dishwasher now. And I don't even wash the dishes, ever, or own any houses, or any dishes for that matter. But I still felt like buying a dishwasher. But they just mentioned that it took like 5x less energy to use a dishwasher than washing by hand, so it's better for pretending you're making a difference. And there was another thing they mentioned which I forgot, which is quite sad. But also, if I bought a dishwasher they would give me 6 months supply of Finish.


Also, I realised that kilometrico's really suck. Sometimes at my computer I write on the paper which I use as a food/drink mat, and I usually use a non kilometrico pen, which I don't use for school. and I realised that they're so much better to write with and kilometrico's are very uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, this was the same night that I bought 2x10 packs of black kilometricos. So that's like 22km worth of kilometrico, and I think I'll still be using them for the HSC.


I had quite unsettling dreams. Now that it's back to school, pwham, straight away, back into regular non-school dreams. And then I woke up at 4:40 and had trouble returning to sleep until like 5:20 and then I woke up at 6:55 and felt like going to sleep.

And I realised that being tired is one of the best feelings in the world. Even being completely physically exhausted. Imagine being physically exhausted and sleep deprived. It must feel so good, just to lie down and go to sleep within seconds. Unfortunately, you only get those 3 seconds of pure satisfaction, which I guess isn't worth the many hours of physical labour and sleep deprivation.


I thought I would get a smaller bag for year 11/12 in the past (a thing which I noted in novel). But yeah, turns out I'm not. I don't feel the need to replace my backpack, which has served me from year 7. It was one of those backpacks which weren't overly big (although it is huge compared to some other bags, but maybe those are just tiny), but could still fit my VA diary + all my PE gear + pencil case books etc etc, and sometimes I could even fit my jumper in with all of that. This one time I put a badge on it, and it said "cogito ergo sum". it's still inside the small wallet-pocket, where I keep my tie (there was once this time where i wore a tie) and my phone (which i realise i never used, i charged it at the start of the holidays, left it on my desk, and when i was going to put it in my bag i realised it was uncharged, and this was at like 10:40 on sunday, so i charged it for like 20 mins then went to sleep). it means "i think, therefore i am", which was a phrase which i was never good at explaining.


since extension 2 maths is on thurs period 8, tues and wed mornings, i realised that i'll still be able to catch the epping bus on thursdays. yay

and then i realised it means i'll be catching the 630 from epping, at like 6:30 or something (yay). maybe. hopefully there is one, i mean, how did our year 12's do it?


when we left the library, I saw an indian myner (i checked how to spell these before, and i think i've spelled it three different ways since), and it was trying to eat some gladwrap. or extended polymer chain lattice. i don't know.


oh, and chemistry. do you remember how during the exam i got bored and decided to make the best flow chart in the world with boxes and everything, and every little detail? i lost a mark for that.

I realised that in science tests, what you are meant to do is say these 2 lines, which account for these 2 syllabus points required by the question. and you can add more, but you won't get any extra marks, of course. but if you add more, and use a word wrong (such as temperature instead of heat, or what i did, "incubate"), you will lose a mark.

So you have to somehow find the balance between saying enough, and not saying too much. Sniping, not machine gunning.

And I also realised how dumb I am (i wrote solid for every ion state, because you know, salt is solid, and that's an ion). And I also left out a lot of states. I lost many marks for that. And in the extension maths exam, do you remember how the graph was screwed up because it suggested that 1/sqrt(3) was bigger than 1? And that was where the point of inflection was? Well, yeah, they might remark the whole thing (for people in my situation, people who changed their graph based on the data given in the question) because i delayed mr ribbans from telling other classes about ext 2 results to query about the question.

also i'm still wondering whether our grade just sucks or if the teachers are giving us difficult tests.


um, there was a point here but it slipped from my mind.


on the way home, I was wondering (because I read a tragic story in the cyberbullying book), if there's so many stories about people who have had their lives absolutely destroyed by bad guys, what is it like from the bad guys point of view? Do they live, knowing they've destroyed people? Or, how do they live, knowing they've destroyed people? Or are they so twisted (like galbatorix knowing his true name), that it doesn't concern them?

It's disturbing.


I wish I would stop having jersey names suggested unto me in latin. I'm already putting delete, and now I just feel like I'll be letting everyone down by not putting some funny latin injoke. And I won't even be able to explain the brilliance of just having "delete". They might be like "ohhh, I see." but that's it. I'm going to be such a jersey failure.


if there was something else, i forgot it.

oh wait

something i like... i don't know. i like sharing things, when people actually let things be shared. which isn't easy, i have to admit. we all lead busy lives, we don't really have time to listen to each other's songs, or watch each other's videos (although it is acceptable and easier to read each other's words). today can be catch up day.



Oh yes, I remember. They might scale my marks up a bit to maintain my rank, because, you know.

I don't feel like I deserve that. It kind of feels like an unfair advantage.