Monkey Wrench

i noticed that there always seems to be white butterflies following me around. When I'm around here, anyway. Well, not butterflies, but a butterfly. Not one butterfly either. Unless the one butterfly can teleport around. I always see these butterflies around, but they're always alone. Never a couple of butterflies. On the way home yesterday, as I pulled into our rose-laden front yard, there was this butterfly flying like, right next to a spider's web and I thought to myself no no don't do that run away fly away get out of there stop it fly away. And it didn't but it didn't seem to get caught either, and I looked away before it did get caught, if it did end up getting caught.


you might be aware that I have had a grave fear of spider's since pre-school, because i think i've explained it too many times here.

and you might (or maybe no) be aware that i don't get angry. i think. i get frustrated. but not really angry. i usually just get disappointed and self-blame instead.

well anyway, this afternoon i ran into strands of spider's web, like three times, which was aweful. and one of the times the spider's web was stuck on my fingertips like dried glue.

//just wondering what's the difference between awe-some and awe-ful

and anyway, i didn't really freak out (actually on second thoughts i did, but in a different way). i didn't scream "help help get it off get it off, jiu ming, jiu ming".

but i did get angry. i was pretty pissed off. i was trying to shake it off but it just wouldn't come off and man, i was so mad. i was thinking "geroff you !@##@! !@#%!$ 3%$^@#$%!@#$!@$!@!*************************", and I was ready to punch the spider's web right between its eyes. i was so mad.

of course this wasn't aloud, i wouldn't freak anyone out like that.


and then i was pissed off at the world and thought or relished about things like this place is going to be consumed by the sun eventually and everything with it, unless world war 3 beats the sun to it.

and then it felt pretty good.



after reflecting for a while, it was similar to when ned flanders gets really pissed off one time, completely out of character, and the way to fix it is to release his anger in small healthy doses.


and then i made myself a couple of sandwiches without glasses which was probably dangerous considering cutting tomatoes, and was probably a bad idea because i wont be hungry until 12am now, and i think being the eldest grade in the school has taught me the value of sandwiches, because they are quite good (but not worth 4 (...) dollars)

tomatoes are pretty good as well