Razor

you don't need to read this post, chances are, you won't like it.


I woke up this morning and got out of bed straight away. It was still dark, but that didn't matter. I realised that today was going to be a great day.

funny, that.


Morning classes are alright, I guess. I guess it's like afternoon classes except there are many more people. And I guess it's alright being alone whilst the other students in my maths class chatter amongst themselves.

Although, it was slightly displeasing (but then quite amusing) walking out, and overhearing someone "damn, i thought it was recess". It seemed like recess indeed, but it was only a matter of minutes before the bell rang, signifying roll call.



do you remember now I don't enjoy or take criticism very well? and not in the "go away, you don't need to remind me" way, although sometimes it does resemble that, but more of the plain discouragement way.

i felt like that today.

and i can;t believe how much care i don't give about school, i just want it to be over. and i don't even want to go to university, i resent the thought of it. it just reflects how much i want to leave here/


i was also reminded about english, which might just have ruined my day, if my day was not already in shambles (i suppose it wasn't...), and was displeasing. it was jokingly, i guess, and there is no need to take irritation of any sort, but it still vexed me. perhaps they had a grand old time at my expense.


my left palm is really irritated, which sucks.



The christian group haven't been there since early-mid last term. I think one of those days was rainy, and they never came since. That's a shame. I never knew their names.

I haven't been having any thoughts about their departure until this afternoon, when I recalled that after I had asked something like "but would you really want to spend the rest of eternity like that?" and the guy to whom I was speaking replied, saying that it wasn't the same happiness as earth. something like that. He was saying something which i guess i don't remember at all, but it had the same meaning as how reliving a single moment for the rest of eternity is still okay (from yesterday).

they don't follow the same thing as time which we have on earth.


and i didn't have a comeback to that, because it was valid reasoning.


and I forgot about it until today.

I realised how unafraid I am of being dead, but I'm afraid of the transition, whether it be drowning or a long drawn-out terminal illness in a hospital. I realised a strong justification for sticking around was that I wouldn't want to ruin everyone's day.

And I wondered why, and I realised that the worst afterlife out of the possibilities is only eternal pain and suffering. And similarly to above, if someone can bear eternal happiness, they can also bear eternal torture with the same ease.

perhaps it's different, because pain sucks, full stop, regardless.

but that's only the worst case scenario




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs0XtStMSyQ&feature=player_embedded
and here is in my opinion one of the biggest moments in esports history this year. where a "foreigner" (non-korean) playing what is argued to be the most underpowered race (although the grand finals was a mirror matchup), wins a tournament which previously was completely dominated by koreans, who previously took the top 6 spots.

the only reason koreans are much better at starcraft is because more koreans play it, and get into it, and it's a part of culture. with starcraft two, esports has grown dramatically in western cultures, and the rest of the world is catching up. this victory represents that.