Scandal

turns out i'm so bad at lyrics that i get them wrong even when i'm reading them.

"where's your brave face when the wolves are coming out", brave, not pretty face, whatever


today i've been up for less than twelve hours, and it's 12:46 at the moment.

i had trouble sleeping, and then i woke up at 7:14 mid-sleep cycle and i stumbled to the bathroom quite literally blind, but sight returned as blood began to circulate again, but then the circulation meant it took a while to get back to sleep.


christmas eve is less than twenty-four hours away. that's so strange. i didn't even notice.
well, okay, i did, but i didn't really acknowledge it. but that makes no sense at all because acknowledge is a synonym for notice. i didn't really feel or think about it.

i have no plans for presents, which is bad of me.

my mum said that i could just be healthy and that would be enough of a present for her. and she says she doesn't know what to get me for christmas, and i say what are you talking about, you already got me the keyboard and those books i ordered.

so nice.

our family isn't really like yours. we aren't that close. i'm positive i spent at least 80% of my waking day in front of this computer. i was going to say 90%, but i wasn't 100% about it.

the second book in the series arrived yesterday. great. i read most of it today. and a bit yesterday. apparently the other two books were dispatched on the 21st, 5 days after this one was dispatched. so i'm expecting them to arrive in 4 days.


there's been a giant fly in the room ever since i started reading and it hasn't really left. i think it was on my shirt while i was reading, because when i decided "okay there's still 1/3 of the book left and it's 12:30 i have to stop eventually" (although i was tempted to just go on and finish it, but i decided against it so i wouldn't be kept awake by the fiction (although, i think i'm tolerant to fiction now. i reread the ending of eragon, yesterday, or maybe it was the day before, and this book, and right now i don't feel anything at all)). so, when i decided to stop reading, and closed the book and picked at one of the buttons on my shirt, the fly took off again. it's a silent fly, this one. maybe it's mutated like the creatures in the book.


now that i think about it, i'm not even sure if the book arrived today or yesterday. i seriously don't know. maybe it arrived today. i don't know.


since i don't read lying down anymore, and i can't even if i wanted to because i don't have a bedside light anymore, i've been reading in this chair in front of the computer with the monitor switched off (that's why i said at least 80% in front of the computer), holding the book open, resting on the base of the keyboard holder. and i look down at it. which is not good for my spine. after reading, i rolled my neck around and there were cracks. took a long time to regain flexibility. kind of better now. neck is sore, though. i should probably find a good way to read.

tomorrow - wait, today - is friday. that means one-sixth of the holidays are already gone. that's disappointing. i really think i need a longer break than this.

although i think even a year-long break wouldn't be sufficient for me.

maybe it would.



pray for tomorrow, but for today, all i want is to be home



setting alarm at 10, so this never happens again. wait no, that's too early. 10:30. wait, that's still a bit too early.