Institution

ah. one of those songs that can't be genre-fied. here you go
(or not)
it's sung with that voice harmony with weak-voice.

you know, that... thing that many acoustic artists do.



sometimes recently i've been going around youtube listening to vevo'd music from different artists. and i used to not do that, so i was really narrow-minded in music (i still am). but seriously, pop songs aren't even that good. all those songs that you would hear at a formal. they aren't even good.

sorry, anyone who likes that crap. (i'm not sorry. fight me)


[starcraft]
season 4 ended, and i ended up as rank 29. pretty happy with that. of course it doesn't mean i'm the 29th best player, there are easily more than 28 people who are better than me. it's just that some people might not be active because they have a job/family, and/or are so good that ladder is a waste of time and they just practise with clan and play tournaments. yes, it's possible to have both.

i'd say comfortably top 80 in south east asia, though.


i've noticed things about my play. i almost never start a game with a specific build in mind. a "strategy", if it helps you understand. in other words, i almost never say "this game i am going to do this then this then this, and i'll have this army at this time, and i'll attack and hope i win".

i play reactionary. i just adapt to what i see the other guy doing. sometimes this is good. sometimes i get a perfect "scout" of what the other guy is doing, and i know exactly what i should do in response. sometimes this is bad. sometimes i don't get any scout at all and i feel really uncomfortable and don't play as well because i don't know what i'm meant to be doing.

anyway, you wouldn't understand any of this.

anyway, again, top 50 is the end of the road. there won't be any more improvement and ranking up anymore. maybe i'll get worse (because others are getting better too) and fall back to top 100. there isn't much difference, anyway. i was almost top 50 last season.

i'm done with starcraft. i'm only playing to get better now, not to get a higher rank.

[/starcraft]



i can barely remember the old cat anymore.

are all things like this? do we forget everything in time?

why did my brother even get another? he doesn't even have the time.


i was wondering today if animals had emotions. i thought about it, and the only thing i could really think of was fear and happiness.

and there is sleepy, excited, hungry, but those aren't emotions, are they.

sometimes there is indifference, as they grow older. that's natural, though. when you spend your entire life doing the same thing, you'll get tired of it. especially when the thing you do is nothing.


fear and happiness. is that it?



what about unicellular organisms? what do they feel? nothing?

can they even feel pain? they aren't even programmed to feel that, i believe. could be wrong.

all they do is exist. they don't think. they just grow and divide, and that's about it. oh, and they die.

but they're categorised as "living". is that living? are they really alive? maybe they should be called "animate", instead of "living". because that's not life to me.

what is the definition of life, anyway?

you could get a dictionary definition, but it's probably going to be bad*. i'm not even going to bother.

there's probably no good definition. maybe it's just something we extrapolate from countless examples. (ie, we have our own wordless definition from saying "that is life, that is not life, that is not life either even though it technically is etc)


they may as well be dead.

*i have different register, and i really wanted to say "it's probably going to be shit" because that's what i would normally say, but i changed it. whenever i say things that seem really weak and uncharacteristic like "oh my newfangled goodness, that's so very terrible", you can probably just fill in the words yourself. there's usually only two words to choose from, anyway.



on saturday i'll make myself a quick list of everything i need to do these holidays (i'm considering not getting my L's these holidays because it's too much effort). man*, i'll just do it now. maths - 2 days of homework. english - that sheet had a list on it, i think it was write a story and polish essay and read book and reading task. chemistry - all optional, especially with teacher change. latin - optional, also summer school.

*hell

asides from english, that's hardly anything. i feel better already.





sometimes the lyrics i hear the first time round are better than the actual lyrics.
i heard
where's your pretty face when the walls are coming down?
it was actually
where's your brave* face when the wolves are coming out?





i hate it when it's the holidays and everyone is gone and i'm the only one online 24/7 and there's nothing to do