Good Time

we don't even have to try!



i think i've said this before but after hsc i'm going to feel so dead. i'm done. yay. what do i do now? i think i'll want to go out and see people but then at the same time i'll probably want to just sleep until 2pm but then am i just going to stay at home the whole time,
feeling sick

i think i always do this. when i'm looking forward to something good i feel good. when i'm dreading something bad i feel bad. but when it actually happens i feel nothing.

it's like i take the hit ahead of time.



went to west ryde and holy it's so hot outside and it's not even hot-time yet. back in the day when we had morning class and i would 630 to get to school and the path from ackling street to the school didn't have any sunshine on it i would think "brr you know brr summer wasn't too bad brrr i think too hot is better than this". and today i have concluded that they are both equally and oppositely terrible

whenever i walk past clover patches i get the compulsion to stop and look for four leaf clovers. sometimes i don't because there are other people on the street as well. today i thought "finding a huge clover field and just looking for four leaf clovers would be a great way to chill and waste the day"

well, at least i think it would be cool

and then i went and deposited that cheque, finally, and i saw someone from our grade there which was pretty nice because they were one of the people who i probably otherwise would have never seen ever again. i think that's one of the good things about leaving high school. randomly finding people around. it's the randomness that makes it good, you would expect to see them at school anyway so that doesn't make it extra-ordinary.

(extra is a latin prefix that means "beyond", terra is a latin noun that means "earth/ground", "terrestrial" is derived from) i think i've already mentioned things like this 100 times before but here you go

speaking of latin i think i am the least latin-studying member of the latin class at the moment.

but i have 7 days between ext1 maths and latin continuers and then 5 days between that and chemistry


that's like 4x my usual preparation time. do i really have to study now?

why is everyone working so hard you're making me feel bad

does it annoy you when i talk about not studying? sorry



as a follow-up to "a peaceful death would be when you did everything that needed to be done", i think i didn't think too much about graduation because i was already at peace with everything. it was a peaceful graduation.



i realised a while ago that capsicum are my favourite vegetable. oh wait, they're fruit aren't they. nevvermind. that's funny because tomatoes would have probably come second.


the other day actually a while ago when i accompanied my parents grocery shopping, something which i pretty much never do since ... high school? not sure. we walked into the seafood shop and i thought "this is disgusting" because it was. maybe when i grow up i won't ever go to [fish markets/seafood shops/whatever they're called] or butcheries. butcheries aren't as bad, i guess.

that doesn't mean i would be vegetarian or anything like that. i would gladly buy foods with meat in them and no problems with bacon or other pre-packaged things. i would just prefer to turn a blind eye to it, similar to how i can't kill insects but i don't give a damn if someone kills them for me.

or maybe i will man up and accept the fact that nature is retarded and we have to exploit, kill and eat other species to survive.

i still think it's funny when we eat food we don't think "how did this food come to be". canned tuna which i've mentioned before is still so funny to me. have you ever wondered how they turn tuna into canned tuna?
or how did those chicken wings in front of you get there? that must have been a lot of chickens they had to tear up.
those prawns which were caught in nets? imagine aliens going around earth scouring cities at random and taking all of their people away.
funny

i should explain, the reason it's funny that we don't care about animals, and nor should we, is because we can't even solve our own problems.

do you want to know how to deal with problems you can't solve?
you ignore them. never fails.

funny world



i still haven't QQ'd about leaving school, and from the way things are going, maybe i won't. ever. or maybe things will feel different after english, or nov 8, or formal.

maybe one of the reasons is because i don't really need to think at the moment. i just had dinner and it felt strange because there was nothing to preoccupy me except eating, so i had the opportunity to think.

most breakfasts and lunches are spent at the computer so i don't have that downtime to think. sleepless nights don't exist because it's hard to not sleep when it's going to be morning soon.

the times when there is nothing to procrastinate with except writing posts (because for some reason "study" never comes to mind when i am out of things to do) are pretty much the only times i need to think. and these posts are usually not about missing people. mostly not, at least. i guess these posts are a little bit of everything squashed into a box.

but when i do feel that pang of sadness (which is actually really really really scarce compared to last year what happened to you kael i can't remember you), i appreciate the fact that i am still capable of experiencing emotion.



i find pleasantries for the sake of pleasantries incredibly silly and seeing it makes me roll my eyes in my head. not literally. i think "zzzz". not because i'm sleepy.

then again, my idea of pleasantries is
"seriously, please hurry up and take the last slice
no, shut the * up and take it
NO I SAID SHUT UP YOU AREN'T SHUTTING UP
[pulls out gun] *ING TAKE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


i spent over an hour when i woke up watching/rewatching secretagentbob's stuff on youtube and it's so funny even though most people would probably find it confusing/weird which is why i don't recommend it. i like that sarcastic, mocking humour. the randomness is also ok.



i am very not happy when the internet dies.


thanks for wasting light, harvard. i remember back in the day when hearing walk for the first few times made me feel so happy and listening to that album all day to the extent that all of the songs have 150+ listens with walk topping it at 560. and this is not including all of those plays at http://wastinglight.foofighters.com/ before i got the album. i should go listen to all of those other albums. i barely have time to listen because whenever i stream i use the sc2 playlist so people don't get bored of my music


remember that time we used to go to high school?

good times