Some people say owls are nocturnal.
anyway, another "trending article": Brilliant pupil's 'logical' suicide
Essentially,
A BRILLIANT schoolboy shot himself in the head after carefully calculating the benefits of life and deciding it was not worth living, an inquest was told yesterday.
...
Dario's headmaster, John McIntosh, has said he was baffled and the school shocked. "He was an extremely able boy and he got on well with other pupils and his teachers and was extremely happy at school."
He was 15. If this is real, i.e. it wasn't a murder with a red herring, then that is amazing. Although, I can't help but wonder why he would make it so hard on his family. Why wouldn't he write something like "I calculated that I don't want to live in London, I'm going to Australia, don't search for me you'll never find me" instead?
Maybe he liked having his brilliance acknowledged, and wanted people to know he's a freaking* genius for killing himself.
Maybe he acknowledged that once you're dead, you don't care what happens afterwards because you're busy being dead. Sure, he feels sorry for the turmoil that they will have to suffer, but ultimately it will mean nothing to his nothingness.
*a suitable substitute for the F-word
I want to read his actual calculations and know his actual thoughts, not the paraphrased version, before I judge him. But it just seems a bit stupid to me that he wouldn't take into account the fact that he's 15, barely started liking girls, experienced about 30% of real life. The fact that, if he was truely smart he would know he isn't the smartest, and why haven't the smarter people departed before him? I'm sure he had these reasons, because otherwise this would be a real tragedy.
Maybe he wasn't actually real smart. Maybe he was good at school, but stupid, but liked being called smart. Maybe he liked the thought of the headline about his story: "BRILLIANT pupil's LOGICAL suicide".
The Oratory is one of the top Roman Catholic schools in the country.
hmm.
It's fine to be depressed, but I always try to wonder why someone would actually do it. I think it boils down to ignorance. Lack of perspective, and more importantly, not realising the lack of perspective.
I personally would never do it because I know I lack the perspective**. Maybe once I have a midlife crisis or something like that, but until then;
**so if you were worrying about me because I show interest in this, it's okay, don't worry about me
It makes me realise that one of the most important things you can do is to
realise that you don't know everything, in fact you know absolutely nothing so stop trying to convince everyone else, and more importantly yourself, that you do, you freaking* noob.
that was almost profound
I don't recall my mindset before, I think it was just "sigh t-t0 woe is me". unsurprisingly, this mindset achieved nothing and got me nowhere. Lesson learned, the long and painful way, but lesson learned nevertheless, lesson worthwhile nevertheless.
0t-t = T_T i think i should have clarified this a long time ago, just in case
Self pity gets you nowhere, because no matter what anyone tells you, you aren't special, and not everyone is going to care about you1. There are 7b other people in the world. You are actually incredibly significant. You're like an ant, except you're not an ant2. If you're going to stand back and hope for something to happen, it's not going to happen. Hope gets you nowhere, unless you act upon it. The only way to get something done in this world is to go and freaking* do it, or if you're anything like me, go ask someone else to go freaking* do it.
Don't believe me? Good. Life lessons work better when you figure them out yourself.
I'm stating the obvious? True. t-t
1I was originally going to write no one cares about you, but that would be as much of a lie as "you're special".
2Man, what a bad comparison.
Tangent aside, my mindset used to be "woe is me". If anything happens, I think my mindset will be something like:
"this is normal. it happens to everyone. it even happens to dumbasses. but they all get through it. since i'm the best, obviously i'm going to get through it as well"
^i was halfway through writing that 3 hours ago, and now it's 5am so i think it's time to end this post
i'm a bit arrogant now. easily critical of people. not in a put down way. i don't know. a bit of a jerk. but after a whole life of being modest and shy, i have to admit that this is a lot more fun.
trials are so close. even though i'm not actually prepared, i feel ready for it. trials then long break then hsc then ultra holidays! can't wait
i mean, the hsc is like a holiday itself. a couple of months of no school.
wait...
forever of no school...
i remember chem teacher said "enjoy your holidays" when it was actually assessment week, but assessment weeks are holidays too
what am i doing its 5:15, this is like 15 minutes worse than yesterday. i'm not worried about sleep messed up though, cos leaving for skiing on friday, and i wont have a computer to occupy me up there
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