Aurora

schools out, whoopdedoo


and then there's the last week of my life left.
"I just couldn't wait for it to be over with" paraphrased.

me too.

one week and then i have to endure abit and then things will be better.


the question "what course are you going to be" and "what ar you going to be" has been thrown around a lot recently

And for once I had an answer (which I didn't actually say because no one would understand). Progamer. Not a programmer, a progamer. I would go to USA and win the MLG for $50,000 and it would be awesome.

nah. I'm not good enough. Way not good enough.


There are two reactions that I expect if I would tell that to someone.
1 (a): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh you were srs?
(b): are you retarded

(paraphrased)

2: wow, that's so cool. that's awesome.


i think you would all be 1b or 2. except you wouldn't ask me "are you retarded", you would say "but you can't do that, you have to get a job, and follow the standard build order, you can't make a living off playing games". Same meaning.

You'd be right today (20 jan 2012). But here is a rough graph of esports.






















As you can see, with the implementation of SC2 in july 2010, suddenly esports isn't confined to south korea. it's exploded in america and western cultures. but unfortunately not australia, because australia sucks. maybe we'll catch up soon.

anyway, if you consider sc2 to be the birth of esports, esports is only one and a half years old. One and a half years and husky's got 600k subscribers, and we have tournaments in america for 50k. we have the GSL in south korea, with prizes equivalent to USD $93000 for first, $28000 for second, $9310 for third.

One and a half years. It's only just started. Sponsors, advertising companies, TV broadcasting stations, etc, have barely noticed. Only the smarter companies have picked up really fast and become sponsors (mostly energy drink companies and computer/gaming related companies). Which is perfect advertising, if you think about the target audience. Males aged 18-30. Something like that. That's unbelievably effective advertising. They can forgo the $100k advertising campaign and just sponsor a tournament/team for $10k, and get a bigger return from their advertising. Of course, this wouldn't work for ...gardening companies or something, because gamers don't garden, but other companies like pizza companies (gamers live off pizza), or relevant education advertisement would work very well. Because you're reaching to males aged 18-30. I don't even know why I put 18. Males aged 14-35. Something like that.

It's just like how beer companies sponsor sports. Because people who watch sports drink beer.


And these companies have only just started to notice. Imagine what happens when monster energy drinks' competitors start to do similar advertising using esports. Actually, that's already happened. There have been so many different drink sponsors for esports such as coke, dr pepper, monstar, 6ix, probably a lot more that i have forgotten or were in korean.

anyway, once more companies start to notice, imagine that. esports is going to become just as big as regular sports, if not bigger. I for one think it will be bigger, because it's so much more competetive than regular sports, and events are a lot easier to set up. I mean it's more competetive as in, sports currently have like a few people in the club who make up the team, and it's pretty much just them; while games have a lot lot lot of people playing, all who have the potential to be good.


So the second reaction was "wow that's awesome". Which isn't entirely true either. It's not as sweet as it seems. Playing games all day for a living might sound the dream life, but it isn't. Here is a quote which I had in a previous post from a while ago.

"Though it might be hard for fans to sympathize, there comes a point in every pro-gamer’s career when not every single game feels new and exciting, and you really have to force yourself to play every game. Our lives tend to lack routine, and that makes it hard to squeeze in those ‘one more games.’"

Many progamers currently put in the same, if not more hours than normal people. Imagine spending 10+ hours a day, training yourself to use the bow and arrow. You are trying to hit the centre of a target 100 metres away. That's pretty much it. You're limited mentally. You can't just magically train yourself to hit the centre every time, but you can improve. But it's frustrating. Sometimes you have bad days where you miss the target every time. Sometimes it feels like you're getting worse, and you think to yourself "my life is fucked i decided to shoot a target for a living and i can't do it".

sometimes you train so hard, and you end up with a 80% hit rate. And on the day of the tournament, you miss all of your shots.


honestly, aside from careers where other people's lives are in your hands, i dont think it can get more stressful than this.


what makes it worse, is that while careers such as archery have little competition (that is, you are probably only one of ten people in the world who want to be a professional archer), everyone plays games. There are a lot of people just as good as you. There are a lot of people training just like you. But only one takes away the prize. You could train your heart out for a month, and then come third and get like $1000.

No one cares about second best, and being the best is close to impossible.


But if I had the chance, even if it meant leaving australia and losing contact with everyone i know and interference with university, I would still consider it seriously. Of course I won't have the chance, since I don't have time to improve and I'm not good enough (even though some people treat me like the god of games).


I'm not good at taking critacism and failure. I've said that before, and it's true. But it works the other way around, as well. The unexpected praise that I sometimes get from some people actually helps me a lot. Supportive people are the best people in the world.

Maybe this makes me a show off. But nothing motivates me more than knowing that people are watching me play. When my game is being casted, and I can share the link on facebook and IM and whatever. When people say thank you after I analyse their loss and explain it to them. If I took day9's advice and wrote something on my mirror, I would write "I kick absolute ass". or "I am the sickest nerd baller ever".

If I could be a progamer, that's why I would do it. So that people watching would be able to think "wow, this kid is the sickest nerd baller in the universe" or "I knew that guy, he went to my school". I would do it for my fans. All of the inevitable depression and endless (and occasionally futile) hard work. I would take those ninja stars to my face.

Someone's passion can only take them so far. But after that, it's the passion and support of others that carries them to success. It applies to everything.

(it actually doesnt, but ignore that)



you might have heard this a few times now, but before my goal was "diamond by the end of 2012" and then i got into diamond and i was surprised and then i was like "masters by the end of 2012" and i got into and i was surprised and excited and i was like "grandmasters by the end of 2012" and then i did that and i was like "maintain being in grandmasters, and get into top 50 by the end of 2012" and i did, and i got into top 50 as well and i realised that i keep underestimating myself, and i told myself something like "by the end of 2012 you'll be one of the best in SEA"

i'm rank 14 on the server now (it's ranked by points, not skill, however). it doesn't mean i'm the 14th best. but i'm up there now. i can say that i believe that i am one of the best protoss players from SEA (there aren't many good ones, SEA is more a zerg server)

anyway ive been delaying dinner to write this and i just realise i have a tournament starting in 3 mins.