http://www.irishcentral.com/story/ent/manhattan_diary/vatican-corrects-infallible-pope-atheists-will-still-burn-in-hell-208987111.html
well, nevermind about that.
well
ok
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unlinked
(I thought this was funny, I guess the chances are, you might not, I apologise for that)
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Sometimes I think "hm, there's a chance that this event could happen. Maybe it will happen". And then I wait and see if it happens, and then it doesn't. And then I think "well, that makes sense"
Today I thought "hm, there's a chance that this event could happen. But nah, it's not going to happen" and then it happened and I was like oh, damn it.
Today I also resolved that I'm absolutely fine with doing lower maths next semester, although I did feel confident in maths again (not because I can do everything, because I should be able to do most things after I catch up, and I know I have the ability to catch up because I caught up a little bit), completely opposite to the night before when I realised I had 16 hours to do the online test, which was worth about nothing. And I got 7 and I decided no today I'm going to beat that, 7 is too low. And I got 8, should have been 9 but I misread the question and got unlucky with the questions on the last attempt. So 8. So much effort, when I could have just stopped after round 2 with my 7, and lost like 0.05 of a mark on my report.
I don't think it was wasted effort, because I should have got 9 if I wasn't bad. Not really. I don't think it was wasted effort because doing that let me catch up a bit (imagine if I tried catching up before I did that). And it also let me know that I can catch up, so now I can just save thursday to catch up on 6-7 weeks of work for the real life test on friday.
Which means I can spend all my time last weekend and today and tomorrow and wednesday doing computing things. I'm doing a lot of work, even though it's meant to be a team thing. I guess it's because I know it won't happen if I don't do it. and I really don't mind, either.
It's kind of like,
It's not that I'm losing because other people aren't doing work for me. I'm doing the work that I can do, and as a result other people are gaining from it. I don't lose anything.
I would rather get 90 and have everyone else get 89 than I would to get 70 and everyone else get 60. I think I talked about this "you don't lose, it's just that other people gain" thing in regards to marks in high school before.
I guess in the HSC year that was a bit different since ranks mattered. But even so, I felt like the HSC didn't matter so I stuck with that notion and cared about doing as well as I should instead of beating others.
Sometimes I do better than others but still feel like I let myself down in a way because I should have done better. Sometimes I am far behind others and still feel like I've done a good job achieving what I should be achieving.
... I can't think of any examples for the second
oh wait yes I can. With musical instruments, there are swarms of people who are better than me at all, and I'm okay with that. My individual level is what I set out to achieve.
So anyway, I decided lower maths is okay, because it's really the same thing except higher people have to memorise a bit more for the exam. I think. I haven't looked at the past papers, but I imagine theres a lot more memorisation of proofs or hard examples for higher.
Even though I really like being driven by thoughts not feelings and mind over matter, the fact that I still have all of these emotions makes me happy.
I think a lot of the time I talk about things which really make no sense to anything because there are some things that no one else in the world was there for (almost wrote universe, but I don't know that for sure). It's like that time a while ago where a cat phased out of physical existence for a good amount of time, which I think I might have talked about before ... that was really weird and I still have not been able to grasp what exactly caused that. So like all things unresolvable, or solvable, I don't know, I ignored and forgot about it.
So it's like that time that happened, except not at all.
I noticed that I keep on saying "I think I wrote about this before" or something like that a lot here.
It's true, though. A lot of these words are just recycled ideas from before. Not intentionally. Ideas from before resurfacing.
I can't really help it, because while life and I have changed a lot, many things remain the same.
I like to think that many aspects of life will remain constant forever.(It's meant to be a parallel!
last management lecture was today. that's interesting. Since the final exam is worth only like 35%, I'm not too worried about it. I know that unless I really really screw up, I can pass easily. I guess now it's about whether I want to try get a credit or not.
I know I already have 10 + 15-20 + ? where ? is most likely to be above 20 and at max 29
so that's already like 45. Wow. actually having the numbers on screen makes me feel better. That's okay, then.
30% of the test is multiple choice, the rest are 2 essays. I'm expecting to get at least 7.5% from the MC, and 25.5% from the combined essays. So that's about 33% of 35%, which is about 11%. That puts me over 50. Awesome
So yeah, my 17th of june is 8:45-10:45, then 1:45-3:45. I think. Something like that. Maths is first, mgmt is second.
Maths is like computing in a way, I shouldn't need to study it. (the difference is computing actually should require 0 studying because I have been keeping up).
I shouldn't need to be muttering my introduction before the maths exam. And I'm already going to be fine for management*.
So 17th of june should be pretty fun
*someone asked the lecturer, do we need to pass the final exam to pass the course? and he said nope and then a girl said quite very loudly
"YESSSSS!!!!!!"
I guess the only thing I need to worry about is stats, then. Wow, that means I have a pretty long holiday. I plan to start playing games again in the holiday (or maybe I should really get a job but I don't know ...**), because I pretty much stopped playing in the past couple of weeks. And haven't been playing as much as I should earlier, either.
**I don't feel apprehensive about having a job, but I do feel apprehensive about the process of finding and getting one.
I haven't driven in a few months, either. Which is interesting. Because I do feel like as time goes on, there is a greater need for everyone to stop driving so much. But then at the same time, you have to drive you'know
It's another one of those things where it's like "well ideally things would be like this, but they aren't, so you still have to conform"
I guess, if you put enough effort into something, you expect to be entitled to some money in return for your effort. The sad thing with music though is that the big agencies get most of the revenue for music sales. Except then the publishers can generate exposure. It's difficult.
So about this and the whole "revolution", I meant that in an ideal world where everyone could have anything and there was no need for money, then everyone would have access to whatever music they wanted, and consequentially artists would have the maximum amount of exposure.
Consumers want music, artists want exposure.
It's only when money is put into the equation that this is prevented. Money, in this case, is like a barrier for "how things should be"
my brother borrowed my stapler, then gave it back, then borrowed again, and he still hasn't returned it. I feel like it would be rude if I just went to sleep before he returned it, so that's why I've been here. I actually typed a lot more and quickly than I expected, as well. Some how got into that zone.
But now there is nothing left, and I should sleep so I can eat breakfast earlier tomorrow.
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