-----
I don't feel comfortable.
I came into my room and there was a spider hanging there, halfway down from the ceiling. Not a big one, but a small one that was large enough for me to notice it when I walked in. I stepped back and thought for a while.
We have a problem here. There is a spider hanging halfway down my room. The solution to this problem is to remove the spider.
And I thought about ways to remove the spider without killing it or directly touching it because I actually am not able to do that.
And I wondered why, when it's completely harmless, and it was because I just can't.
And while I was wondering things it was slowly falling down, sometimes there was a jump, but mostly it was a very slow drop. And I thought about how the spider doesn't have things to worry about, its thoughts were simply "going to drop until I hit ground. Am I there yet? No. Keep dropping."
It didn't have much to worry about at all. Only existence. It must be nice not having to think about things.
It was well and truly alive and I just wanted it to go.
I listened to Kashiwa Daisuke's 88 for a while and then got an A4 envelope that carried my TFN application, hesitated for a while but I didn't want it to get to the ground because then removal was impossible, opened it up underneath raised and threw the envelope outside. A quick throw, like calm panic and very mild fear. It's outside now and it's pretty sunny there. I don't know how it will fare. I don't hope it will be alright. I don't hope it will suffer.
I don't feel comfortable because I know it's likely that there are more living things indoors.
It's nicer not to worry about life.
-----
"This conclusion rests on the premise that radiation is less harmful to wildlife populations than we are."That is, Chernobyl could become one of Europe's biggest wildlife sanctuaries. Because humans abandoned it.
-----
reading about things that are happening in the world always makes me wonder. There are so many problems with the world right now. And from the way things are going, the amount of problems is only going to increase. How many years does humanity have left? If we keep going this way... I don't know.
I imagine that human activity is going to permanently reshape the world, and we will adapt to the different conditions. It will kind of be like how we cut down forest for cities, and mountains for roads. Except we changed the world in those ways for our own comfort. In this case, it won't be intentional.
Maybe a lot of time will be spent underground, because of the rising temperature and the reduced landmass from the rising tide.
Maybe the zoo will be the only place to see exotic species of animals. Where exotic species are defined as species that we don't exploit for food, through farming.
I don't know much about global warming, but I can imagine. what happens when there are too many people on earth and we run out of resources?
Of course there are more problems than just problems with the physical world.
The things going on in other countries are concerning. I guess it makes me realise how lucky I am to be here.
There are all of these problems with the world, but I don't know how they are meant to be solved. Humanity is too disconnected. I guess if there was an easy way, someone would have done it by now.
I guess this shouldn't be of much concern to me. I need to worry about things like driving and uni. Some day I'll need to worry about getting money because it's pretty important. I guess what I'll do is get a job. The thing about jobs is, they solve problems for a business, not for the world.
Maybe there needs to be more incentive for solving the bigger problems.
or maybe i'm just crazy and these problems aren't major to begin with, and people are doing their best already.
Yeah, I don't know what I'm thinking. Must be getting too late. Believe it or not, I'm starting to think I should sleep a little earlier.
I don't know where I am or where I am going or what I am doing or what I should be doing or where I am needed or where I need or what I am thinking or what was I thinking or what I should be thinking, I am lost and I don't know.
I ended up reading through all of my past posts. All of them, and i guess i will talk about that some other time
I started this post like a week or two ago, no less than that i don't know
No comments:
Post a Comment