just kidding time to fuken read the comments while fuken listening
fuken
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day after
another one
but this guy is hilarious
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not sure how many days.
in many photos of me, in which i'm unaware that they are being taken, im smiling. i don't know why. am i really that cheerful so often?
if i am, i don't know why. there isn't really anything exceptional to be joyous about. maybe it's because there is no need for melancholy.
maybe last year it was because there was no need to be happy, even if there wasn't really anything exceptional to be sad about.
i don't know if photos from last year exist, but i'm quite sure they would be expressionless masks.
i guess real happiness isn't derived from exceptional matters, but it's an underlying consequence of every little aspect of every day.
i remember my acoustic guitar's name is patrick. my electric guitar's name is taylor.
by being here at 12:36 i'm procrastinating my BB article which i don't even know why i write things anymore, if i write things it will be here where i'm not worried about who will judge me.
and by writing that bb article i'm procrastinating sleep. i think it's going to be over 1.5k words not incl pictures. i hope thats ok.
could post now, or could save for another day.
i don't have morning class anymore. i don't have afternoon wednesday anymore. i guess this means i don't have 630 anymore, which is a bit
sad.
baker's delight is being replaced by something to do with liquor, i think. if i read that notice correctly last last week. because i didn't actually go back to read it again.
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i feel terrible like nothing to do but there are but i dont wanna
i don't feel like it i'm too tired but i'm too awake to rest
i feel a bit sick and hopeless and should i be doing something
my brain feels like doing something but it's too tired so all it can do is sit back and think and wish it wasn't strapped down and tied back
meaningless, purposeless, what am i what to be doing here
but deep inside my brain thinks "lol mayb u shud jus get more than hours of sleep, noob"
today i realised that as i said a while ago, after the trials its time to start being sad. because only like 4.2 weeks left. every day that passes is like 4.5% of our time left, and then 5, 6, 6, 7, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.3, 12.5, 25, 33, 50, 100% of our time left.
which is quite sad, and then i don't actually want to go to uni. sigh
and such is life. farewell school, please o captains mention how time has flown by, it seems like only yesterday that the 07 captains said that as they left.
and then i was too tired to be sad so i thought whatever ill leave that to later
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got apaper cun in english. i hate it. not a big one, not a small one. just a standard paper cut. i hate it so much. maybe this is my biggest weakness. i can't bear any wound to the inside of my arms or the back of my knee or the fingers or any other not-strong part. it doesnt hurt, it's just a placebo thing. i hate this.
im typing on my new keyboard with my left hand and my right index finger only.
here it is. on sunday im going to go to the lan and get a headset, and then ill have a decent microphone which will be very useful.
maybe it will be good at music too.
there are a lot of better players going (why are all the good players in sydney :( - ) so i might not even win anything. but if i get 3-5th i can get a mouse + mousepad which would be a pretty nice present for someone who uses a hello kitty mouse that dies always so useless bad sigh why'
but i'm probably not going to. oh well
i think my last 2 birthday presents have been not-real. like pixels and items.
and i don't see anything wrong with that.
i get to catch the 630 on wednesday afternoons after the practise math test. as long as we finish at 2;40. yay``
i really should be getting 91%+ in the 3u HSC and 83%+ in the 4u hsc. i just need to think straight. its ok, i have 2 books of past hsc papers i can do the night before.
half of my lost marks are stupid errors. not careless, just stupid. well maybe some of the 3u ones were careless since i could be cared to check the paper since i was feeling so sick so bad zzzz/
in chemistry as well.
i guess everyone gets these stupid errors so it balances out.
test results. got chem and maths back. chemistry was funny. i got 13/25 for the chem of art part. 2 of them were stupid errors (the question asked to identify 3 pigments and say what they are used for, and i just identified 3 and ignored the next part even though i knew 3 answers, so theres 2 marks for no good reason), and i can't remember the rest. the funny part is, 3 marks was to describe a procedure for MnO4 something somethign, and i had absolutely no idea so i wrote what i vaguely remember (which is only the fact that we threw metal in test tubes) and made a few things up, and i remember in the exam i was trying not to laugh out loud because at the very end i decided to tack on "safety goggles must be worn at all times" and crossed out goggles and wrote glasses (i don't actually know what they'red called tbh).
and then i got 2/3 for that procedure. and 1/2 for the next part, which i completely made up on the spot.
apparently i didn't do too bad and 81 is well above the average. moral of the test, start study 16 hours before the exam.
maths 4u i got 77 which apparently is good. i don't think it should be. i think the average should have been around 75. i lost two marks for writing OBX instead of OBC in a circle geo proof, which kind of sucked. and a couple of other stupid mistakes (transcription error). but it's ok, still maintained my rank. i don't even know what my rank is. i wanna get 96-97 for ext2 maths in hsc. or atar. apparently hsc and atar is different and scales differently and even though you get a bad hsc mark for ext2 it scales right up and becomes a 99.95 atar mark. idk.
maths 3u i got 62... yeah. but then it turns out they failed to add up in a question, so it went up to 65. could have been better, a couple of stupid errors (thought a negative times a positive gives a positive, and forgot to put brackets around (-1)^k and confused myself) but i don't really mind that much. i know some people would have got under 50, so it's ok. at least i passed.
i am such an asshole,lol;
the other day i told mum who was disapproving of me going to the tournament on sunday that it's ok im going to get at least 99, and it doesn't even matter because i don't need a high atar anyway since i dont want med or law.
am i going to get at least 99. i dunno. i think so. i think im just naturally good at processing and remembering information quickly. so when i have more than one day before each test (and a whole week before latin which is going to help a lot lot lot (i think i have the best hsc timetable possible)), i should be able to go into each test and know absolutely everything well and have the potential to 100%
potential is not always fulfilled ofcourse
i was reflecting the other day, and it's pretty sad that i'm going to be beating people who work harder, need and actually want a high atar. well actually no one needs a high atar anyway but you know what i mean. if there was an atar trading system, i wouldn't mind trading mine.
i really should stop being awake at this time of night. srsly so tired at school.
oh hey, it's 29. we're in the 20s. thats 4 weeks. like, 4 weeks. sigh.
play music. study latin. get bronze awards. finish write that article which is stupid now. well, it was always stupid.
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