i have noted that it is amazing how people are angry depressed stressed disappointed hurt by tests and results.
i guess it's easy for me to look at the situation in the way i do because i was made to learn and even better i can memorise short term and sit tests and that
but still, it applies. if i was doing terribly, i would be thinking the same things.
the way i see it is: all you need to do is try your best. and unless you get a seizure in the exam, you will get an atar that exceeds what you need no matter what. (unless you med/law sorry kids)
that's quite simple.
hmm
there was something else i was going to say, but that kind of sums it up.
so yes. i think most people realise this but still get upset after getting results back. and i said something about how this is related to injustice. early on in english our class was told "your mark will correlate to how much effort you put in" but in reality, this isn't the case. and one might work hard with 7 drafts and still get a sht mark, and someone else who did it the night before will beat them.
but it's not really about how others do, it's about you tried really hard and failed anyway, what does that mean?
it means the hsc is telling you that you're sht at (subject)
which can be quite upsetting naturally.
and one of the nice things about the hsc being completely utterly entirely stupidly dumb is that many things in life are dumb. and this is a nice as ever sandbox to get used to living in a pretty stupid world which i'm feeling really critical at the moment this world is retarded and has no hope except it does
whatever
since it's been established that the marks don't matter, this is a safe way to get used to being screwed over.
if you talk to me i won't say things like "aww its ok r u ok i hope ur ok it's ok everything will be alright pat back"
i'll think about it and explain logically why none of this matters and why it's retarded, and then i will say but it's natural to feel like sht, so enjoy feeling like sht for the next 2 days, but if you don't fkn cheer up after that im gonna fken throw puppies and sht at you
something like that
whats going on
merits merits merits
i came third in the carol manner's essay writing competetion which is not sure $25? not sure. not sure if it is published in some classical magazine either. is it only 1st that is? CD came first. $100. think he's first from baulko to come first. not bad. i was like wow i didn't know he could write essays, and i was also like wow they thought mien was good but i thought i'm shit at writing essays cos that's the only feedback i've ever got from the school in multiple subjects (except latin i guess which makes sense) the other subjects suck
oh, you know how so many instances where one comment was A you answered the question so well everything is nice and then the one under it is C your thesis was complicated in a bad way and hence your essay was convoluted you're a failure,
i think it's a testament to how english is a stupid subject whose idea for compulsary
i wish brendan still used blogger so i could ask him how mad he is
someone tell him
merits merits merits there were things i was going to say and forgot so all that is left is merits
do you know what was the catalyst for dropping eco?
they said my essay was sht and i was like ok, well this subject is fd
even though i actually went pretty well in the rest of the test, 80% i found that test while looking for latin things
sometimes i wonder if i should sentences so they make sense and easy to read
our eco teacher was alright. lots of respect for the guy.
he was a bit worried about me i think.
lol
ah...
acceptance bulletin was alright. i liked it. i should stop using retarded as an adjective.
i guess i can replace it with a synonym like "fked up"
yes, that would be more appropriate
what am i doing here
this is what happens every day. i dont get enough sleep and then i sleep in the day so i cant get to sleep now and it goes on and on and on
maybe if i keep this up one day it will turn into polyphasic sleep. i like this idea.
is it daniel memory story rant hard-to-read until 2am time?
might be if i can think of one
i cant think of any that i know i havent had here before before. like the transition from one sheet of homework every week which took 10 mins to first day of year 5 i have to make a book cover or something and its due tomorrow and i was so overwhelmed that i cried
used to be the official worst shoes in the class. hey, who gives a sht if they're all scratched and the leather is scratched pale grey instead of black if they still protect my feet and i run in them
being mindblown when jm was able to copy the cursive style of our teacher. i tried and it was terrible like a toddler's writing except more curly, so i went back to my running writing which i still do now
no one taught me how to running write properly. i just joined the letters and there you go
oh man that other daniel lee who was in the grade above me in eastwood primary school and i went to the wrong place when they were reading out class list names, once and almost twice but then my friends were like no thats the other daniel lee come bak u
yesterday i said something about hearing things in music that i didn't before
like now chorus of back to december has male backing vocal
feeling really bad when the MMG in kingdomofloathing screwed me over. related to the sandbox thing i mentioned above. i want to play the MMG LOL OK MMG PARTY SOMETIME SOON YES PLS
seriously i cant think of any life's stories that haven't already been said here before. have i really ran out
i like how love story subverts the traditional story of romeo and juliet, which is highlighted by the song modulating keys when instead of being dead romeo is like marry me
i like that.
i used to buy play water like every day at ermington highschool (wow has my tendency to only drink bottled watter been since then, and actually it's been before then i can't remember since when why do i never drink tap water since the whole of my life) anyway i used to by play water like every day and i used to also walk home every day, and i remember i used to just throw the empty bottle away in the bushes at this place that was pretty close to my house. which thinking back is so funny whoever lived there must have been so mad. oh and the pair of ducks who used to always be there but i haven't seem them in i dont know when... they're probably dead anyway, i used to just throw a new bottle there every day (wow i wasted a lot of money on play water) and it would just pile up.
ah.
man, they must have been so mad.
anyway i don't actually remember why i didn't just carry it all the way home. lol'd
wow i just remembered some random dream from i dunno 2009 which was set in the area between ermo and my home which i used to walk through every day. except i took the same path every day, and the path in the dream was the street next to the one i took home. i remember opening some door (because you know there's floating doors and sht in the middle of footpaths) and it lead to a different part of that area, and going through the door was like portal if you've ever played that game, it was like opening a door into the truman show dome, this door leading to another world (which in this case was the same world)
hey i just read this tweet
"David Levithan's EVERY DAY is out! The story of a person who wakes up every day in a different body, it is brilliant and you will love it."
this guy fken plagiarised my imagination from a while ago
jerk.
MMG omg lol! ^^ ~ .-.
kingdom of loathing was great. but i know i'll never be able to go back to it. good times. it's funny because of all of the adult jokes and references to pop culture that i didn't understand at the time but whatever. i think it impacted my life.
headset isn't too bad. i've been using it only for the past 2 days and not too much discomfort. i started streaming with commentary which was a lot of fun actually even though it was so distracting talking and playing at the same time and i played terribly as a result.
"at least u had fun"
if i could change my yearbook something that i always say
"at least u had fun"
it's a consolation that is meant to ironically tell you that i'm laughing at how mcuh u fail
remember that time jason chen was in our school. he was a fuken baller, that guy is an actual legend and i'm never going to tell him that unless theres some commune reunion or something like that after the hsc
in doe year 9 we set up camp on one side of the field. another group set up camp on the opposite side of the field. and in the morning when we had to wake up it was so fken cold i borrowed someones gloves and felt bad cos they needed it and there was ice on the tents and it was pretty intents (lold) and we had those tetrahedral milk cartons and i had cereal in a zip bag and i think i just poured it in and ate it without a spoon maybe i did have a spoon but i was like wow that was so good even though it was so cold because before that when i had cereal which was rare i would microwave it because i am unafraid of soggy cereal.
and i remember that night our industrial teacher who tells you to tuck your shirt in was walking past all of the tents, to make sure people weren't talking. and he walked past dan's tent who was next to us and dan was like "HAIIII" (u know?) and i fken lol'd, he was making f 'n the funniest bird impressions before that
ah...
what about now?
he gets stressed about chem and sht. so stressed.
what a shame.
what a shame that the hsc does this.
because really, after the hsc screws you up, you never go back to the kid you were before that.
for some people i guess
ah..
i actually legitimately feel bad because the hsc has done this to people.
the hsc or parent's expectations? i dunno both
i'm so fortunate.
merits merits merits
i'm probs not going to be able to get 38 merits. if i'm like 3 short or something liek that, on friday im going to bring my year 7 woodwork box and ask mr smith for merits.
he was my fav year 7 teacher, i remember that. even though year 7 woodwork was nothing we just made a pencil box which doubled up as an engineering component box
year9 woodwork was my favourite. probably becaused i liked particular person. even though i didn't always really fit in with the class.
so funny thinking back about it
i was in 5th class in year 10 out of 7. that was ... was going to type funny but it wasn't really funny. that was alright. dan and i would sit at the table which had room for 4 other more people but everyone sat at the back groups of tables whatever be that way. we were the only 2 that actually worked i swear. it was nice being in 5th class because i just topped everything until the last exam. back when 100% of the test was just exactly the same as homework questions so if you worked in class it was cake. and non calcs weren't even that hard, everyone was just bad especially me. and then i got into top online class which was pretty cool because everyone else was from like class 1 2 and 3. and then it was a bit sad not being big fish small fishbowl.
sometimes when dan was away i sat at the front alone and just head down do the work but i already finishde all the class work ill just look down anyway and wait for the bell to go.
recently i've been saying things pretty often like "no that test wasn't actually that hard, we're all just really really bad the average should be 15% higher". and i don't take that back, but when i do say it i'm having my own definitions for "good" and "bad" which are respectively "ideal" and "not perfect"
did they tell us that the thing we remember about school was not classes but the extra curricular activities?
that was bs, i'm remembering people and people in classes.
one wednesday we ended up on the swings for some reason which i don't even remember and now that is my facebook display picture for a while.
still not feeling sad. i think reality that this is week 7 hasn't hit yet.
a bit sad that our latin teacher will be gone and is going to miss our graduation.
probably not really sad because i'm busy with everything and then after that ill be busy with studything.
merits merits merits
we were writing some story in year 7 for our teacher who was ... willis or something like that, i remember she was part time retired oh wow how do i remember this. and it was some kind of creative writing thing and i was like i dunno what im meant to be writing and i started off with it was a dark and stormy night into some story involving an angry tyrant and clowns hatching from eggs and i think it was jeffrey tran was like lol'd u started ur story with it was a dark and stormy night and i was like what do you mean? because i didn't know there was anything wrong or cliched about that.
it was a pretty crappy story.
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