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There's this person named Arteezy, well, that's not right,, there's this player called Arteezy. He's from Canada, a year and a half younger than me, started playing dota professionally in 2013. He's very talented, one of the best players in the world.

Well, so what, what does that directly mean to you? Nothing I suppose, which is fine, which is right.

Ten days ago ... only ten days? it's felt like ... much longer... wasn't a very long period of time, was it?
Didn't realise... how quick.
Perception of time  is ... funny.

You know, if things were the same but a bit different,, like if I had a similar upbringing in not-Australia, I think my life could have been a lot like his. I think I might have been just like him.

I just want to say I feel bad for Sumail. He's going to have a huge dip in grades. I started Grade 12 with a 98% average, then 88% average, then I went below 50% average. I passed the year with my first two terms of marks. I skipped my history exam and got a complete 0. I almost failed highschool because of a four week bootcamp in Europe. Right now he's really young so school doesn't matter at all. But I missed so many classes I couldn't do anything. That guy man, he better fucking realize. It's so incredibly stressful to not have your parents understand that. When my mom understood it got pretty chill. My teachers got mad but that's alright, watch Grey's Anatomy.

What's wrong with Australia? Well... Australia is just too far behind in so many ways. That's another story, I guess.
Sumail? He's a 15 year old who recently started playing dota professionally. Amazing, isn't it. I hope he will be okay.

At the start of the year there was some drama because players were moving teams, and ten days ago Arteezy streamed to talk about it. There's a transcript out there but it's all about dota. He gave a brief summary of his career, explained how the player shuffle happened from his perspective, gave his thoughts, answered questions.

I guess before this happened, I never really thought about this person. You see the name in the game, what they do there, that's who they are. But you know, he really reminds me of myself.


I don't think he was ... quite okay. But I know he was fine. He told funny stories. He told difficulties. He told normal stories. What it was like. Sometimes, a little quiet and distant. A little bit of temper and upset. But always something funny. A small joke. Troll the chat. He's fine. Sad boys don't tell jokes.

What is it like when you're known by your in game name? That's the you they know. Well, you spend so much time as that person anyway. You lose yourself, or they become you, well, I don't know, whatever, this doesn't matter anyway.




He's messing around in the game, throwing for fun, saying stupid things, being so silly, but so what? LMFAO wHo cAREAS HAHA Xd. He's not crying, he's laughing. Can't you hear it? He's just having fun. You don't have to be so serious all of the time.



Some people might think he's an idiot. Well, that's fine. He doesn't care about what they think and nor should he, he doesn't care about anything. Well, that's not true, he cares about this game, it means so much.

I remember, it was... funny. One of the games, it was the most fun in so long.

Arteezy talked about watching Grey's Anatomy. Talked about how relevant it was to his life, drawing abstract parallels. It was probably one of the stupidest things he has ever said and I'm sure he said it because he didn't care and it would be funny.

I mean, how can you make stupid comparisons with your life like that? You would have to be joking, right?


The main part of the second biggest dota tournament is starting in the next few days. He'll be playing in it, and I hope he does really well.

I'm not worried about him. I know he will be able to focus and prepare at 100% potential. It's a mentality. When you're here, you are here, nothing distracts you, everything else is gone.

Come on, Arteezy. You carry my hopes and dreams. I believe in you.


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Supposedly they're going to be breaking down all of the walls tomorrow. So, we moved a lot of things today. How exhausting. I felt sick and I lay down, I remember sometimes falling awake, but the dream followed me to this world, a sinister figure standing over me, I can't move.

It's not uncommon, I've heard of it before, but it's not something that affects me. Well, it wasn't something that affected me.

They'll break down the kitchen. I guess that spider who is still there will finally be gone.

They'll break down my old room. We emptied it today, found an old artwork from year 1 that was behind my clothes-drawer all these years. One big fish, two small fish, I gave the small fish horns when I cut them from the paper, they're stabbing the big fish, you can tell by the blood. And then, giant seaweed, I should take a photo but I won't, it's gone.

They'll break down the wall that contains the telephone and internet cable, what will I do.

They'll break down everything.

I threw away so many old things, old books, old notes, old miscellaneous objects, everything gone.

I played a game, there was this thing called the process, it broke down an entire city, turned everything and everyone into white blocks. Erased all the memory. Reset the city. Turned it into a blank canvas, and we had the brush. but... well anyway, that was just a game.