122 - Unbreakable

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZ5Dr0A5hHE

so much of my music is from starcraft

sorry about the linking recently, these songs are ungooglable. always lame songs instead (they're lame because i haven't listened to them). So I have to make sure that in the odd case that you might think of considering listening to the song, the link is there. The link is there for when you realise you don't want to listen to it, but then you click on it by accident and close the blog post because it doesn't open in a new tab unless you middle click.

it's almost midnight and i felt like this is a good time to post.

today i realised that there's only like one and a bit terms left. That was awesome. This is awesome. Year 12 isn't that hard, all you gotta do is not do your homework or study.

Here is a list to serve to remind myself of things I need to do in the next two days (which won't be at school):
-start english essay (note: preferably more than open word)
-catch up on 5 weeks of maths homework
-chemistry homework
-probably bits and pieces of latin (everything has become ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ since this term started and no ones handing in things when they should be handed in and teacher doesn't mind because she has a lot to do without the extra marking anyway)
-write up belonging story
-learn properly how buffers work because man chemistry relies so heavily on revising outside of class, i don't know if thats because of the way it's taught or just the tempo of the subject itself. can't sit around, 1000 topics to learn.
-latin assignment
-4 different notes to hand in to office (camp yearbook latin maths)

upcoming assessments: 2 english, 0 chem, 0 extension latin, 2 maths, 1 latin continuers

oh theres the latin assignment, gotta add that to the list

can someone tell me what the second english assessment is? the one in the same group as the other assessments, where everyone's in different groups.

//huh, control up and down to jump paragraphs doesn't work in this


this will be the first time i've skipped a entire day event at school. i think. probably. i went to the swimming carnival this year, i remember that. we played chess for so long. time sure flies when you're having chess.

so, what am i meant to put on the note?

Daniel had an epihany and realised that going to school on athletics carnival is actually completely pointless when every year all he does is sit on grass and run 100m and has absolutely no interest in whats going on and could be better spending the time at home catching up on school work esp cos yr12

Daniel was sick
sorry yo

Daniel was afflicted with the spontaneous and incredibly contageous cough that spread throughout year 12 on monday.

Daniel I bet you don't even was read these notes do you sick

Daniel had a headache.

Daniel had a nervous breakdown and broke a leg. It healed in two days.


I'm leaning towards the headache one.



winter blankets are so good.



I managed to salvage some of my script from the school computer:
print "Welcome to the game"
name = raw_input("What is your name?")
print "Hello", name +", welcome to the game"
one = raw_input("You are walking in a forest. You see a forest troll. Do you fight it? (YES/NO)")
if one == "YES":
    print "you fight the troll. You die. Sorry, son."
    print "You lose."
    gg = raw_input("Play Again? (YES/NO)")
    if gg == "YES":
        print "sorry python doesn't let me do that you have to rerun this script"
    else:
        print "ok."
elif one == "NO":
    print "The bell just went, sorry gtg"
else:
    print "You attempt to eat the troll. You die. Sorry, son."
    print "You lose."
    gg = raw_input("Play again? (YES/NO)")
    if gg == "YES":
        print "sorry someone teach me how to make the script go back in time"
    else:
        print "ok."

and by "salvage" I mean I just did the whole thing again because it's not 2am yet and I'm bored.


---

scripting

---


well, that was a good way to not go to sleep.





on friday i accepted a bible. I'll probably never get around to reading it. Maybe, one day. Probably not. Maybe one day.

I remember trying to read the red ones we got in year 7. I think I tried reading it once. And it was like x begot y who begot z who happened to be the begotter of s, who begot a who begot b, oh and b begot c. And that went on for a couple of pages and I decided I would stop reading there.


An interesting thing on friday was that they brought back the big sheet of paper with a question on it and passers by write answer on it for lollies or whatever.

"Do you believe in God? Why or why not?"

not sure if that was the question that i first saw on the first friday, maybe it was. idk.

One of the answers was something like "no, how can he let there be so much suffering in the world". And I thought "that is a pretty ignorant answer". And reflecting upon that now, from now on no one is allowed to use a question as an answer or a comeback unless they have previously investigated that question themselves and have found no answer that appeases them.

another answer was something like "no, i've lost my faith". I asked them about that, and apparently one girl used to believe but then it was everywhere in high school and she got tired/annoyed of it and gave up. Which is just an indicator that she didn't really believe in the first place (and probably didn't know that herself and i'm being pretty harsh and ignorant myself here, please correct any mistakes that i make), because religion shouldn't be something that is affected by others beliefs. That is, if you already follow a religion and a bunch of your friends follow a different one, that should have no effect on you whatsoever because it's meant to be your personal, spiritual beliefs. Similarly, if you follow a religion and a bunch of your friends follow the same one, and in fact everyone you know follows the same one and it's everywhere in high school - that should also have no effect on you whatsoever (except for maybe something like "hell oh yeah, dude isn't our religion so cool this is awesome!"
// that was completely unintentional. originally i was going to type !@#$ YEAH! then toned it down a bit and got hell, that's a bit funny
It shouldn't be something like "oh, everyone else is following the same now. it's not cool anymore. i'm going to go vegan and save whales in my sleep now"

i didn't write my own answer down, and i'm glad they didn't ask me to.

my own answer?

no... but yes, kind of, but no?

Yeah, there could be, and that could have happened, and I completely acknowledge all of this, but it doesn't click with me. I can see the loads of evidnce that you have to back it up historically (mr denett quote in year 8 "there is more evidence that God exists than there isnt" how did i remember that), and I acknowledge that, but it doesn't click with me. I can understand and even partially agree with your logic, but it doesn't click with me.

If you asked me "Did Jesus live?" I would say "I don't know" and that would be my honest answer. Did Jesus the normal guy who was the savior of many live, yeah sure. Did Jesus the one who performed countless miracles, who changed the world and was reborn live, I don't know.

I honestly don't know, and upon reflection, I guess I'm a person who doesn't like to rely on faith or chance.


I read a book (that they lent me) called "A Sneaking Suspicion" and I can't remember exactly so we're going to have to make do with this.
When the author was in primary school, one of his classmates had heart failure and died. A couple of weeks before that though, they went camping, and at night they were discussing Christianity and stuff in the tent. The author always wondered whether the kid "got his foot in the door in time" because he wasn't spiritual.

I've thought about this applying to myself. "If I die right now, what happens?"
The night that I finished reading that book I thought to myself "You aren't going to wake up tomorrow. This is your last sleep. What will happen to you?"
I can't remember my answer. Maybe I fell asleep before I could find it. Maybe I didn't care. Or maybe for a few fleeting minutes I was safe. Regardless, it was all lost in the next couple of days as real life kicked back in.

If I die right now, what happens?

I wouldn't be surprised to see Jesus.
I would laugh
smile
then sigh

and then I would be damned

to hell


//did you like my enjambment? i made a word picture. in a few millenia, the terran will study my words and analyse it for techniques in school. sorry i had to break the mood



No, I don't believe. I think, acknowledge, wonder, agree that maybe, but none of those words are the same as "believe". I don't believe unless I know, and I don't know until I am dead, or until I see something for myself with my very own eyes that are mine in first person while I'm not hallucinating or dreaming.

Don't fret for me. I'll be fine. Because I believe that after death, there is nothing. Not black, darkness, or the void, but even better - nothing. My soul might beg to differ, but that's okay I can't hear him until that time has come. I'm adopting an attitude of "makes no difference no matter how much you wonder about it you don't know until you're there so whateverr".


This goes back to the points raised by considering that girl's response "I've lost my faith". I have my own beliefs, and they are real beliefs because I have a bunch of friends and people that I know that follow all sorts of different beliefs of their own. But they don't have an effect on me because they are my personal legitimate beliefs. I actually believe this yo. This isn't what I think, acknowledge, wonder, or agree that maybe. (You may go back to the repeated list of verbs above and ask "but what about whether you "know" or not?", and my answer to that is "well I'm not going to know either way so whatever")

//Whatever is my polite way of "who gives a "


And then there's "but wait daniel, you only believe that there is nothing because of influences from science and whatever that said theres nothing after death"

And that would probably be true. I suppose those were the main influences I had. Similar to you, as your beliefs are the result of your influences earlier in life, just the same.


And the fact that your beliefs are influenced mainly by your influences when you were young and moldable (I acknowledge that there are exceptions), as well as the fact that no one no matter what knows for certain (even if you died and met jesus and came back to life, there may be an explanation that none of us know, and I can't guarantee that you aren't hyping up or completely lying about your story either), makes me wonder why they are so important in the first place.

It's like asking why is the sky blue when we're a few months old. You aren't going to understand. Why are you asking. Why are you arguing with other toddlers about whose theory of skyblueness is correct, when the chances are you are all wrong? none of you know for sure?

I'll tell you why. The sky is blue because it fucking is.

Whatever.


son.


1:33. close enough.