Summer's End

haven't been here in a while.

It's 5:49 and it's already dark outside. I don't like that. It was better when it was still bright outside at 8. I always assumed that I liked winter more than summer spring or autumn, but that isn't true at all. I've found that you can be wrong about yourself, such as what you like. I think eventually I started to think "winter isn't that great actually, but neither is spring, so I'll settle on autumn".

I guess what I think is true for right now is that I like from the start of autumn to daylight savings. So that's march and a bit of april. According to google. I can't actually remember what day it was on. Something about eco people having an extra hour.

Well anyway, study starts about now, both englishes can go and metaphorically burn in writhing white flames. Oh wait now i remember why I wanted to mention that, it's because I haven't actually played anything for the whole of today (well actually 30 minutes), and that's weird because I am feeling very okay. see diagram below which I should draw on paint before posting. Maybe playing games destroys you. but still, I think it's the most fun way to be destroyed.

actually not playing games isn't really saying much because I woke up after 11 (thinking that it was 9 because i normally wake up earlier, then don't get up and fall back into sleep until 11, but that didn't happen this morning i just woke up at 11) and it's 6pm now. which is less than 7 hours. Wait if i didn't play games then what did i spend my time on. I'm quite sure i haven't been working on essays for 6 hours. I watched a day9 daily which was an hour.


okay, i guess I'll never know. I either unconsciously travelled through time or spent 5 hours working on essays (which I haven't actually made much progress on).

man. i travelled through time. i wish i could do that consciously.


i can't be bothered opening paint so here you go:

You: bad<----------okay----------->good
Me: okay<----------okay----------->okay


okay.

there was something else

yes, starting studying today, even though exams start on friday, which is around exactly a week. what? one week to cover 7 subjects!?

i know i should care about my studies more, and if you care about your studies a lot then that's brilliant and if you keep it up i honestly think that you will get whatever you honestly think you will get for your ATAR, plus one. If that means 100.95, then that is what you will get. It also means you're overly overconfident since you were being honest.

I know I should care about my studies more, but the "do the right thing" side of me is telling me that there isn't much point for me to study and work really hard. that's a thing that's changed this year. I've started realising what ultimately matters to me, and doing well in year 11 does not. I think I've lost faith in the point of education, and why on earth is english compulsary, and i read a post on howard, the one that isn't mark,'s blog and i guess uni is going to be pretty bad as well.

the "do the right thing" side of me also tells me to do the wrong thing as well. In fact it doesn't exist. There is only one side to a person. When you think you see another side, it's just the same side which has rotated slightly due to some external influence. it can rotate back again, don't worry.

i was about to end the post but then i realised the only reason i brought up the "do the right side" thing was because, it's one week to prepare for 2 exams, not 7.

this is my exam schedule:
-1 week prep
-latin + math 2u
-3 days prep
-english
-1 day prep
-chem
-1 day prep
-english ext
-2 days prep
-maths ext
-3 days prep
-economics

i am going to read this later and cringe. or mental faceplant, or whatever it's called.


i think right now i haven't been rotated, but skewed. it's when you select something in paint and make it wider, thinner, taller, shorter, backwards, or a combination of all of that.

i think i was doing english 30 minutes ago (6:19). why did i post again, i can't remember. i think it's because i was feeling unbelievably okay from doing things in an unorthodox fashion for english advanced. it's going to get me a 14/20 and for some reason i don't really mind at this point in time.

6:21

i am disappointed that googling summer's end gets me runescape instead of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mw7m9ps-B50

6:23

6:59
was just thinking about alex yip saying "peer pressure" in a jeering way like when someone is under pressure and you say to them "peer pressure"

also i completely forgot to mention portal 2 above, so i'm mentioning it now. it was epic and awesome and all those other adjectives you use when you want to express approval in a generic way. i can't really say much about it because i will be spoiling it for some of you, and the others will have no idea.

being the enthusiastic and initiative-ing person i am, i finished single player and half of coop on day 1. right on! studying! yeah!

lost that feeling of extreme okay-ness. i won't even try to edit this because i'll end up deleting all of it.

7:02