Come Back

so an apology in advance it was just a really hot afternoon and I had nothing better to do and I didn't feel in the mood to be coherant so this might not make sense and you might have trouble and give up reading it, i just felt like talking. It's just a train of thought and it's going to look really, really stupid if I ever go back to read this.

if you want you could close your browser right now before you have to read any of this.

~

Well, it's been like six weeks now, and I have to admit that I'm not really 100% ready. I mean, I haven't prepared or anything and there isn't much time left to do that. I kind of feel nervous and dreadful about it.

I don't feel ready. I'm not ready.

I mean, after 6 weeks you're expected to be better and prepared. It's just that I don't do that.

Yeah. Piano lessons. I think it's not this saturday though.




And then school. Well if it's any comfort to you, Don't worry I haven't revised any maths or studied at all during the holidays and it's okay because you're way ahead and you're ready for whatever they'll be teaching us

I haven't bought anything for school. I think it's meant to change in senior school and you don't have your giant backpacks anymore and you're meant to get folders which I won't

and the sentence structure is more rambling now but right now i can't think in this weather

i'm not really ready for school either




I was thinking about all of the things that happened in year 7 last night. i dont know actually

its just that 2011 is extra significant for me because this is when i was in year 7 and my brother in year 11. this is when i am where he was.

and on the first day back at school i will be walking home from denistone the same way and the same day as 4 years ago. except this time i'll be in year 11 and i won't have a little brother who just happened to get off at the same stop.

and i plan to make a post juxtaposing the two days on that day but i probably won't be bothered so i'm just telling you about that idea now if it doesn't take flight




i'm guessing none of you watched the 110 minute video of day9 talking about his life as a starcraft player. i would be worried if any of you did watch it and all of it.

this probably looks like i think about and refer to that video a lot but i don't.

in the video it's just him narrating his life as a starcraft player. how he bought it and both he and his brother played, and how they went on to try out in gaming tournaments, and how after 6 years of WCG he finally won and life afterwards since he has college and all of that so there's no time for games.



but during that he talks about things that he learned from playing and how that's affected his life.

like how you shouldn't be hard on yourself. if you make a mistake and it costs you the game and the tournament, so what? there's no reason to hate yourself for it, there's another tournament next year where you won't make the same mistakes.

and how important it is to have people to help you with emotional support. it's very important.

and mistakes, and losses. I'm going to try look through the 110 minutes of video for a quote.

A loss is not a bad thing. Failure is not something to be scorned or avoided or something you should reassure someone on and say "no no it's okay the russian judge was just in a bad mood"

Those losses, those games that you did not play well, that you lost. That is not you, that is not a reflection on you. That game is completely external to you. If you just look at it, all that that loss is is an arrow that points you in the wrong direction.

and how gaming isn't something to be ashamed of or anything. Because if someone asks "what do you do as a hobby" or "what's something that you're a fan of", no one would answer "gaming". hey guys I play games and I'm good at it

And he says about how he booked the auditorium one time from midnight - 3AM and invited his whole school to come and watch the players in a tournament while he explained what was going on. And almost half the school came, and there's nothing better than when you explain to an audience what you love, and they start to understand it.

I wanna be the person who you can show your mum to and say "Look at this guy, this guy,... isn't homeless! He didn't turn out horrifically aweful, right? He played this game and it has brought him far in life. And listen to how he describes this game - that great feeling he is able to talk about, that, is what I feel." That is something that I think is so important, just to be able to spread it to as many people as possible

you can perfect most things: you could memorise a textbook, practise a song until you can play it perfectly every time, get incredibly good at a sport or cooking or making things, and all of that. And you can perfect most games as well. Like minesweeper, pinball, any card game, tetris. Those games, once you understand them and practise them a little bit it's impossible to get any better at it. You've perfected it, and at that point it's not about getting better at The game, it's about luck. And even first person shooter games, once you understand how it works, and then perfect your technique, theres no way you can get any better than that. and dota, it seems really difficult, but it's only controlling one hero. but you can even perfect that so that it becomes boring and a chore, unless you're playing with friends.

you can master pretty much anything. But starcraft is different. sure, you could "master" it by getting ridiculously good, but you can't get everything right. You can't make no mistakes. You're probably making a few small mistakes every second.

You would need like, 300 Actions Per Minute (apm) and complete concentration to get close to it. It's extreme multitasking. 300 apm means you are doing 300 things in one minute, or 5 things every second. And you have to continously do this, having to manage even more things later in the game. 150 apm or 2.5 things per second is good enough though.

the point I'm trying to make is that it's difficult. Very difficult. You can't get everything right. And when you know you've gotten better, or you pull of something really hard, or you try really hard and win a game where you were sure you would lose. That's the "great feeling" he is talking about.


You don't have to play the game, but if you watched and showed interest and maybe even understood what was going on, that would be worth it. It's like if you were a tennis fanatic and you explained to me everything that was going on during a match, and why it's so exciting, and how talented the players are. And then I would understand it, and I would share your excitement for the next match or something. It's like that


and now this has started nowhere, and gone nowhere. im not even going to try to proofread and edit the parts which don't make sense



I can play Come Back now, specifically the middle part which starts at 3:37 - ends 5:19 if you want to check that out.

I tried to learn it a few months ago but I gave up.

and then I learned it.




oh and mark starcraft 1 is still ****